Comments on: social, prosocial, anti-social

By: Raj Anand

Raj Anand — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 14:45:36 +0000

I must confess what you just mentioned has happened to several of my mates. I remember telling someone to keep only one social network as their main place of contact, while redirecting from all the others. With the current migration to Facebook I think it would be a obvious choice for many. Whilst some musicians would choose Myspace. Saying that me and many other social networking junkies love their presence everywhere.

By: that canadian girl » Blog Archive » Breaking up in the age of social networking

Thu, 19 Jul 2007 19:46:36 +0000

[...] Jessamyn West of librarian.net, along with many others, has covered the issue before me: “Do I take my ex off my buddy list? Do I remove his blog from my RSS feed reader? Should I stop commenting on his Flickr pictures or block him from commenting on mine? How many passwords do I need to change? Do I deauthorize his computer from my iTunes store?” [...]

By: Jim Jones

Jim Jones — Thu, 23 Nov 2006 09:43:32 +0000

I did a Yahoo 360! page, mostly because I already have a Yahoo! account (for the e-mail I connect to my blogs), and while that one does not have as many features as the more popular brethren (MySpace, Facebook), even the little things like giving a name, a location, made me feel a bit odd. On the one hand, I would not mind using things like as another way to get in touch with other professionals, or students. On the other, I struggle with the how much to give out in terms of information. You would think an instruction librarian would not be so shy about some things.

By: cheesedip.com

cheesedip.com — Thu, 29 Jun 2006 21:29:05 +0000

dealing with social software post-breakups

Jessamyn, on how social software makes post-breakup periods even more awkward: I started this relationship before the dawn of most social software and the ubiquitous presence of “network” in my life, and I’m ending it afterwards. (…) Do I take…

By: Tekintet » social, prosocial, anti-social…

Tekintet » social, prosocial, anti-social… — Thu, 29 Jun 2006 07:46:45 +0000

[...] Jessamyn a librarian.net-en nagyon érdekes kérdést boncolgat(ott pár napja, de én most futottam bele). Aki már átélt hasonló helyzetet, az érti meg igazán. Történetesen, hogy szép új, virtuális világunkban, mikor egy képzeletbeli – talán idegen, talán jó vagy rossz akaratú – közösség érdekében feladjuk énünk titkolózóbb felét, mikor kapcsolathálónk egy része tulajdonképpen nyilvánossá válik – megszakíthatunk-e, és hogyan egy valóságosan már nem működő, befejezett kapcsolatot? (Létezik-e befejezett kapcsolat? Létezik-e virtuálisan befejezett kapcsolat? Hogyan zárjunk ki egy embert a virtuális életünkből? Ki lehet-e zárni? Ki kell-e zárni?… stb.) [...]

By: Rebecca's Pocket

Rebecca's Pocket — Tue, 27 Jun 2006 12:27:55 +0000

Breaking up in a social-networking age

Jessamyn has a thought-provoking post on social networking and how it amplifies the weirdness that is always associated with breaking up. “I started this relationship before the dawn of most social software and the ubiquitous presence of ‘network’ i…

By: Jason

Jason — Mon, 26 Jun 2006 23:11:50 +0000

I have been reading your Abada Abada pages for about 3 years now, and feel like i know you and greg, but i don’t. The only things I know I have read on your web pages, and feel as though I have been with the both of you for that entire time. I am saddened by the break up, and am in shock, I’ve only seen the happy things and times that you both have shared. One entry you are asking us to send Greg a note about graduating and turning 30, and the next you are split up. My heart goes out to you both. One of the things that drew me to your blog was the your love of Vermont, I love Vermont too, and have a cabin off some back dirt roads near Killington. I hope you stay in Vermont, and work out what ever it is you need to. Best wishes always.

By: k8t

k8t — Mon, 26 Jun 2006 03:31:03 +0000

My own problem is — if we broke up, who’d get custody of the massive (5000+) “backup” DVDs that we have. I bought the external burner, he paid for the netflix subscription, we split the cost of blanks.

By: K8t

K8t — Sat, 24 Jun 2006 01:36:01 +0000

Should an ex be allowed to do a trackback?

By: Jenny Levine

Jenny Levine — Fri, 23 Jun 2006 21:07:55 +0000

I keep saying I’m going to write a book about the unintended consequences of social software, in particular Flickr. So far this year, I’ve had work issues because I Flickred the half hour out of the day I was traveling to present and took a break, had personal issues come up because I Flickred someone too much, and had consulting issues because I was contracted to do something but Flickred when I was taking a break so it looks like I wasn’t working.

More and more, I find myself questioning if posting a certain picture will “get me in trouble” whereas before, I didn’t give it a second thought. And yet, I still don’t stop. It’s fascinating in a “who’d a thunk it” way, isn’t it?

I would add to the list who gets the DVR with all of the shows you both want to watch?

I’m buying you a drink at ALA, too….

By: Liza

Liza — Fri, 23 Jun 2006 13:26:53 +0000

Jill isn’t much of a social software woman, but I told her about the split, and she asked me to share her condolences when I posted mine. We’re sorry the two of you are in such a rough place.

Ironically, I read your post the day after Jill told me she was thinking she might want to go to law school. Since my sum total of couples that made it all the way through law school still together (I think the summer of the bar exam counts as law school) is back down to 1, out of roughly a dozen, I am not enthusiastic.

If either of you find yourselves in Atlanta any time soon, we’d love to buy you a drink or have dinner.

By: jessamyn

jessamyn — Fri, 23 Jun 2006 12:42:16 +0000

Hi Joshua, I’ve seen people talking about that very same issue in a different vein “should I Google my new interest?” In my life, a lot of the people I meet at least know I have an online presence and in many cases I’ve met them because of that (since I don’t have an online alter-ego, it’s just jessamyn everywhere unless that name was taken). Of course if you’re interested in someone you’d want to know something about them, but figuring out how much digging is appropriate and how to talk offline about what you know online (or vice versa) is a new challenge.

It’s just a more multifaceted version of the “when do I switch from signing my letters ‘luv’ to signing them ‘love’?” but now we negotiate those waters with a much larger pool of people and state our relationships using other people’s (or companies’) words to a very fine degree of detail that shifts frequently andd is open to a larger degree of interpretation because there really isn’t a solid set of social norms on which to base even best guesses. Fascinating times.

By: joshua m. neff

joshua m. neff — Fri, 23 Jun 2006 12:30:18 +0000

Yeah, strange. And here’s the other strange side:

When you meet someone new, and there’s sparkage, you’re both digging each other…how long before you say, “Here’s the URL to my blog”? (Assuming the person doesn’t already know you have a blog.) How long before they can start making comments on your blog without you feeling somewhat uncomfortable, worried that they might post something…inappropriate? How long before you friend them on LiveJournal and MySpace and Flikr?

Luckily, I haven’t had to deal with a break-up since I’ve started blogging and using social software, but I have had to deal with meeting new people, wondering when to let them into my virtual network. It’s definitely strange new territory.

By: Lauren

Lauren — Fri, 23 Jun 2006 06:01:32 +0000

Can elsewhere (for meeting up) include Seattle? I’m still here after your recommendation to attend the iSchool in 2003, and I’m planning to stay now, even though when I arrived I didn’t want to stay. So thanks for that. And I’m sure you have piles of friends to stay with out here, but if you come back out and want a drink or a morning at the market + breakfast + visit to Left Bank, drop us a line. We’d have fun (& snark)!

(Of course, if you need a place to stay PLUS all that other stuff, let us know about that too.)

By: jessamyn

jessamyn — Fri, 23 Jun 2006 03:26:53 +0000

strange, isn’t it?